Thought BIte - Designing Expression - Is expression a skill?

 

Helpmate on Fridays is like a community coming together to grow emotionally! This typically starts with an event that troubled someone or action in which someone is feeling unsafe. And This typically ends up with an insight, a tool or explaining thinking beyond the obvious. And most insights come from children!

Last two days, two incidents where a facilitator screamed at the group of kids in anger (yes, we do get angry!)

Thoughts expressed

  1. No doubt we are not doing anything correctly, but raising voice is fearful
  2. Is there an image, that I am a good child and cannot be scolded in public?
  3. Each one takes scolding differently.
  4. Maybe there is an image that adults are scary, so if an adult screams in Aarohi, one can get intimidated.
  5. If one continues to do the same thing, other has the right to raise the voice.
  6. How does one want to be communicated when this has are either repeating or dangerous?
  7. Say it in a less screaming way
  8. Say on one to one basis, have a serious talk.
  9. Feel completely put down, if it repeats bring in helpmate and my voice
  10. Zone out and wonder what I did (self-reflection). Fine with screaming
  11. Bring it to community
  12. Sometimes I feel it’s unnecessary, but it makes me aware so I am fine with any scream
  13. I think and reflect – it helps me
  14. I can express later
  15. The gentler way would be better, I don’t like screaming
  16. When one gets scolded it feels bad, who gets hurt but what about we do to others? Instead of getting overwhelmed, share.
  17. I lose out on certain behavior, not on any person, most cases bring understanding.
  18. Count ten seconds and analyze, say sorry or keep quiet
  19. Discuss nicely, when not listening rules screams.
  20. It starts with gentle, repeated reminders, but not understand what is happening to others, sometimes we ( adults) can go wrong.
  21. If I get scolding in a very loud way I don’t like, the mild way is okay.
  22. Reflect on self and then react.
  23. Understand other's points of view, one has to make a point. It feels bad but I need to understand why someone took that mode.
  24. It’s okay to communicate like this
  25. If from parents then I scream back or not to. But a new person, then I don’t understand what the other person going through and the person doesn’t know what. I am going through.
  26. if Children can scream at each other why  not adults?”

As we all expressed we realized that somewhere the “onus” is on “adults (facilitator) to reach out to the kids

  • If kids scream, adults to connect with kids to listening
  • If adults scream, even then adults to reach out to the kids for listening

Ah! something is not balanced here! “why kids not reach out to others (adults or peers or parents ) and express their feelings? Can this be a skill one can explore “how do I go and express my feelings to anyone. It’s whose responsibility to take initiative to express?  OR waiting for others to reach out to express and listen? ”

One child asked “can we bring Norray for adults? Question was “who is creating this gap and difference? Kids don’t’ listen to kids – are they creating this difference and continuing to create a difference?”

We ended the session with drawing our garden of Life….Imagine the garden of your life (guided visualization)

  •  What you want to be in the garden? ( except a human being).
  • Imagine your strength, you want your strength to be brighter or pastels
  • Draw your own images
  • Add dreams in your garden – relate to the object.
  • Add your feelings to the garden
  • Add your disturbances, not helping you to grow
  • What different people in your garden are – community, peers, parents, teachers?
  • Add your feelings, Images about different people in your garden…connect with each other and draw them in your garden!

We can create awareness
We can introduce various tools
But we cannot impose our learnings on anyone
As we all travel our own journeys!
The platform of helpmate is just a medium to offer the art of “expression”.

The original Article - https://aarohilife.org/home/blog/helpmates-expression-skill

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